Consent: no means no

Consent is a very important part of every sexual relationship. Being consensual means that both people definitely want to have sex with each other. If someone is saying that they don’t want to do it, or that they are not sure if they want to do it, then you should not pressure them, because they are not consenting.

If they are unable to say they want to because they are asleep, unconscious, or too drunk to be able to know what they are doing, then that person is also not consenting. If someone has sex with a person who is not consenting, it is called rape, which is a criminal offence.

If someone has had sex with you when you didn’t want them to, it is not your fault. Not even if it was your boyfriend or girlfriend or someone else who you have had had sex with before – if you change your mind, even half way through, and ask them to stop then they need to stop or it is rape.

If you have been raped and feel like you can talk about it, then you could get the police involved because rape is illegal. If you do not want to involve the police, then it might be helpful for you to talk to someone else about your experience – a close friend or an adult you trust, a rape-crisis helpline or counsellor. If you have been hurt, then you should go to a hospital to make sure that you are ok. You won’t be in trouble. If no protection was used then it is also a good idea to get checked for STIs and pregnancy.