Arguments at home

Arguments at home are quite normal, between your parents or carers or between your siblings or any other people who may be living with you. People don’t always agree on things, and some people’s reaction to this is to have arguments because they get angry or annoyed.

Arguments that are happening between other people are usually nothing to do with you and so are not your fault, but it can be difficult and stressful to be surrounded by people who are having bad feelings between them. This can make home feel like a tense and difficult place to be. You may also feel like you have to take someone’s side.

If the arguments are happening all the time, you may find that you don’t want to be there at all and that you want to run away so that you don’t have to deal with it any more. It might help to try talking to the people whose arguments are upsetting you, and let them know how it makes you feel. You could ask them to find a way that they can stop arguing – they may agree to do something like going to family counselling if it’s very big problems they are arguing about, or if it’s smaller things like someone not doing the dishes then they may just be more careful about how they speak to each other around you now that they know it’s upsetting you. If the arguing still doesn’t stop and it’s really upsetting you, try talking to someone else about it like a trusted family friend, another relative, or a teacher – they may be able to talk about it with you and help you to deal with it and feel better.

Arguments with parents or carers

It’s easy to disagree with parents or carers, if they don’t understand you, won’t listen to you, or make decisions for you that you don’t want.

They often think they know what is best for you and what will make you the safest and happiest. They aren’t always right and they don’t always know the full story.

They may be worried about you or your choices and it doesn’t come across well to you when they tell you. Most people argue sometimes and it’s ok not to get on with everyone, but it’s not great if it feels like you’re always fighting or getting into trouble.

Talking is good, and helps them to know how you feel and what you want. If you can’t tell them, can you write to them? Can you send them a message or ask someone else to tell them? Runaway Helpline can help if it is too hard to explain yourself.