Sometimes being part of a family is hard work, and it can really get you down when your family just don’t ‘get you’. Families can have a big jumble of personalities and opinions, which can play a big part in how you feel, especially if you are living with them full time and your personalities clash.
Families can have conflicts over all sorts of things – it could be a break up within the family, like your parents getting a divorce, which can be stressful for everyone connected to the family. It could be that you have a family member who is missing, which can cause a lot of emotional upheaval and can impact your relationships with each other. It could be that your parents or siblings disagree with your life choices, or that you disagree with theirs. Don’t underestimate the ability of even small issues like people not doing their fair share of the chores building up over time to become a massive tension – in family life, everything can often feel intensified.
It’s common for people to run away when things get too hard at home because of arguments, tension, or broken relationships along with other problems. It might help to seek some support online or through a helpline for advice on how to best help your family to function in a dynamic that works for everyone.
People tell us that when there a fights and arguments at home, it makes them run away or want to run away. Some people don’t feel safe at home while others feel angry and don’t want to be around those they are fighting with.
It’s really hard if there are physical fights or shouting arguments that you are part of, even if you started it.
Most people argue sometimes and it is ok to not get on with everyone, but it’s not great if it feels like you are always fighting or getting into trouble.
If fights are physical and you are others are hurt, that’s not ok for anyone. If you feel so angry that you hit or hurt someone or someone hurts you, it is good for everyone to have some space from each other. If you feel unsafe or that someone at home is out of control and keeps fighting with you, it might be helpful to talk about what you want to do and whether being at home is the right place for you.
There is support out there for parents with their problems and it might be that talking with us we can give you some suggestions for them. If you are fighting with someone while you are in care, maybe it is not the right placement for you or them and it would be good to talk to your carer or social worker to find out if there is somewhere better.
Lots of people struggle to control emotions like anger and that’s understandable. If feeling angry makes you run away or hurt someone and feel like you need to leave, it would be good to talk about if there are ways to help stop feeling like that.